Especially not when the bully works through someone else. Someone I love. Bullying me through manipulation. I don't roll that way.
And maybe this comes from growing up under the care of someone with a control issue, but I feel like I am being forced out of somewhere I love to be because of one person's opinion.
My boyfriend's brother. Currently, on the people I like scale, he's 0 for 2. And I've had about enough. Every time I see him, both my boyfriend and I spend the night in tears. He makes me feel like I'm a terrible person and he genuinely upsets my boyfriend. And I feel like he gets some sense of redemption out of it.
He thinks I'm bad for my boyfriend.
Which, admittedly, I've thought on several occasions. But it's one thing when I'm saying, "oh, I encouraged you to become the person you were afraid to be." It's another thing entirely when members of the family think I've changed him for the worse, turned him into something to be frowned upon. Taken him from the unfair pedestal you've placed him on and let him be human.
When someone you love grows up, changes, goes through something that is supposed to make you older, you never look at him and say, "What happened to you?" That one I took personally. I happened to him. And God forbid he's happy if he's not being perfect for you.
I know what it's like when people that are supposed to love you expect perfection. That exact attitude is what ruined high school for me. What none of them seemed to realize is that they weren't perfect either. Now, imagine the same thing, only you actually like the people demanding perfection from you. It's completely unfair.
I'm losing myself trying to compete
With everyone else instead of just being me
I don't know where to turn
I've been stuck in this routine
I need to change my ways instead of just being weak
I don't want to be afraid
I want to wake up feeling beautiful today
And know that I'm okay
'Cause everyone's perfect in unusual ways
I have only said "I love you" to one person and didn't mean it, and that is my stepmother. I love my boyfriend. I want to start a family with him. But that means that his little brother and I are going to have a Come To Jesus meeting. I'm the kind of riff-raff you don't want to mess with.
The name is Nik.
"Then, all of a sudden, something very spooky started happening. Every time I came to the end of a block and stepped off the goddam curb, I had this feeling that I’d never get to the other side of the street. I thought I’d just go down, down, down, and nobody’d ever see me again."
-Holden Caulfield, The Catcher in the Rye
Especially not when the bully works through someone else. Someone I love. Bullying me through manipulation. I don't roll that way.
And maybe this comes from growing up under the care of someone with a control issue, but I feel like I am being forced out of somewhere I love to be because of one person's opinion.
My boyfriend's brother. Currently, on the people I like scale, he's 0 for 2. And I've had about enough. Every time I see him, both my boyfriend and I spend the night in tears. He makes me feel like I'm a terrible person and he genuinely upsets my boyfriend. And I feel like he gets some sense of redemption out of it.
He thinks I'm bad for my boyfriend.
Which, admittedly, I've thought on several occasions. But it's one thing when I'm saying, "oh, I encouraged you to become the person you were afraid to be." It's another thing entirely when members of the family think I've changed him for the worse, turned him into something to be frowned upon. Taken him from the unfair pedestal you've placed him on and let him be human.
When someone you love grows up, changes, goes through something that is supposed to make you older, you never look at him and say, "What happened to you?" That one I took personally. I happened to him. And God forbid he's happy if he's not being perfect for you.
I know what it's like when people that are supposed to love you expect perfection. That exact attitude is what ruined high school for me. What none of them seemed to realize is that they weren't perfect either. Now, imagine the same thing, only you actually like the people demanding perfection from you. It's completely unfair.
I'm losing myself trying to compete
With everyone else instead of just being me
I don't know where to turn
I've been stuck in this routine
I need to change my ways instead of just being weak
I don't want to be afraid
I want to wake up feeling beautiful today
And know that I'm okay
'Cause everyone's perfect in unusual ways
I have only said "I love you" to one person and didn't mean it, and that is my stepmother. I love my boyfriend. I want to start a family with him. But that means that his little brother and I are going to have a Come To Jesus meeting. I'm the kind of riff-raff you don't want to mess with.
