I'm sitting in my bedroom, listening to Tim McGraw, and wondering why the hell life can't just be easy. My father told me today that I looked like I'd lost my will to live.
That's probably because I have.
It's my fault, I know. I knew going into this that he was gay and could never love me the way I wanted him to. But when I met him, I was alone. My "best friend" had stopped speaking to me for no reason, except to throw some insults, and I literally had no place in life. I sat by myself in the hallways because I wasn't sure who I could talk to.
And there was this (cute) kid who liked Tim Burton and looked at me when he was speaking to me. He's my best friend, my soul mate. Anyone watching would think we've been dating for years. Even people that know us think that.
But I fell in love. And he didn't, because he can't. I kept my feelings a closely guarded secret for months. It was tearing me apart, and he didn't even know it.
So I told him everything. And I cried. And he was fine. I'm pretty sure there's a song by The Script about that...
And the worst part is he's got nothing to get over. And I'm sitting here, miserable because not only is my heart broken, but I've also lost my best friend, and he's just fine.
"Do we still like.... talk and stuff?"
That was the longest sentence spoken last night. And now it's just over? A year and a half, and it's over?
The name is Nik.
"Then, all of a sudden, something very spooky started happening. Every time I came to the end of a block and stepped off the goddam curb, I had this feeling that I’d never get to the other side of the street. I thought I’d just go down, down, down, and nobody’d ever see me again."
-Holden Caulfield, The Catcher in the Rye
I'm sitting in my bedroom, listening to Tim McGraw, and wondering why the hell life can't just be easy. My father told me today that I looked like I'd lost my will to live.
That's probably because I have.
It's my fault, I know. I knew going into this that he was gay and could never love me the way I wanted him to. But when I met him, I was alone. My "best friend" had stopped speaking to me for no reason, except to throw some insults, and I literally had no place in life. I sat by myself in the hallways because I wasn't sure who I could talk to.
And there was this (cute) kid who liked Tim Burton and looked at me when he was speaking to me. He's my best friend, my soul mate. Anyone watching would think we've been dating for years. Even people that know us think that.
But I fell in love. And he didn't, because he can't. I kept my feelings a closely guarded secret for months. It was tearing me apart, and he didn't even know it.
So I told him everything. And I cried. And he was fine. I'm pretty sure there's a song by The Script about that...
And the worst part is he's got nothing to get over. And I'm sitting here, miserable because not only is my heart broken, but I've also lost my best friend, and he's just fine.
"Do we still like.... talk and stuff?"
That was the longest sentence spoken last night. And now it's just over? A year and a half, and it's over?
