When you think about it, it's not really that selfish to want someone to yourself. Any relationship you have with someone is going to change when you meet someone else, even if it's a minute change. Valuing the relationship you have with a person and not wanting it to change isn't selfish. It's kind of flattering, actually. It's like saying, "I like you how you are, and I don't want anything to change."
I'm forced to watch people change. Generally, I'm okay with change. I understand that I'm not the center of anyone's universe and, likewise, they aren't the center of mine. I take it all in stride. I listen and watch as my friends create other relationships, as I meet new people. But there is a time when a person changes so much that they lose themselves. For example, I have a friend [or two or three]. Let's say her name is Bertha. And Bertha and I are great friends. Have been for a long time. Then Bertha met a guy. We'll call him Jimbo. And I watched as Bertha dated Jimbo, and Jimbo made Bertha happy, and it was all sunshine and rainbows. Then, Bertha started talking about Jimbo all the time. After a while, she stopped being Bertha, and became Jimbo's girlfriend.
Now, imagine that happening to.... most of your best friends. Welcome to my universe.
I get the boyfriend/dating thing [trust me, I've been in 11 committed relationships]. And I know I've done the obsessive thing. But seriously. I've got at least 4 of my closest friends [yes, including Him] that I just want to punch in the face. But if I say anything, not only do I become a hypocrite, I also become the jealous friend [which, believe me, I am not] that just doesn't get it.
Excuse me for enjoying the relationships I already had.
The name is Nik.
"Then, all of a sudden, something very spooky started happening. Every time I came to the end of a block and stepped off the goddam curb, I had this feeling that I’d never get to the other side of the street. I thought I’d just go down, down, down, and nobody’d ever see me again."
-Holden Caulfield, The Catcher in the Rye
When you think about it, it's not really that selfish to want someone to yourself. Any relationship you have with someone is going to change when you meet someone else, even if it's a minute change. Valuing the relationship you have with a person and not wanting it to change isn't selfish. It's kind of flattering, actually. It's like saying, "I like you how you are, and I don't want anything to change."
I'm forced to watch people change. Generally, I'm okay with change. I understand that I'm not the center of anyone's universe and, likewise, they aren't the center of mine. I take it all in stride. I listen and watch as my friends create other relationships, as I meet new people. But there is a time when a person changes so much that they lose themselves. For example, I have a friend [or two or three]. Let's say her name is Bertha. And Bertha and I are great friends. Have been for a long time. Then Bertha met a guy. We'll call him Jimbo. And I watched as Bertha dated Jimbo, and Jimbo made Bertha happy, and it was all sunshine and rainbows. Then, Bertha started talking about Jimbo all the time. After a while, she stopped being Bertha, and became Jimbo's girlfriend.
Now, imagine that happening to.... most of your best friends. Welcome to my universe.
I get the boyfriend/dating thing [trust me, I've been in 11 committed relationships]. And I know I've done the obsessive thing. But seriously. I've got at least 4 of my closest friends [yes, including Him] that I just want to punch in the face. But if I say anything, not only do I become a hypocrite, I also become the jealous friend [which, believe me, I am not] that just doesn't get it.
Excuse me for enjoying the relationships I already had.
