Sometimes, I get lost in the theatrics of my own mind.When that happens, I do irreversible damage to the real world.I do a lot of things I should regret, but the more dramatic part of me secretly loves every minute of it.The frightening part of all this is that I’m losing myself more often.And once I start, I can’t stop.
Take tonight, for example.I have that familiar longing for my razor.I want to make my scars, hide my cuts.Be the master of a situation only I can control.But the thing is I’m not upset at all.In fact, I’m rather happy.Aside from Matt and his L-Bombing—to be explained at a later date—I’m quite content. I just want to slash the flesh on my body with a dull razor for no reason.Does that make me weird?
The name is Nik.
"Then, all of a sudden, something very spooky started happening. Every time I came to the end of a block and stepped off the goddam curb, I had this feeling that I’d never get to the other side of the street. I thought I’d just go down, down, down, and nobody’d ever see me again."
-Holden Caulfield, The Catcher in the Rye
Sometimes, I get lost in the theatrics of my own mind.When that happens, I do irreversible damage to the real world.I do a lot of things I should regret, but the more dramatic part of me secretly loves every minute of it.The frightening part of all this is that I’m losing myself more often.And once I start, I can’t stop.
Take tonight, for example.I have that familiar longing for my razor.I want to make my scars, hide my cuts.Be the master of a situation only I can control.But the thing is I’m not upset at all.In fact, I’m rather happy.Aside from Matt and his L-Bombing—to be explained at a later date—I’m quite content. I just want to slash the flesh on my body with a dull razor for no reason.Does that make me weird?
