Mae Bues: you haven't updated yours Mae Bues: WHY Nik Foxy: cause I've been busy
Nik Foxy: idek what to post about Nik Foxy: like, my fear of going anywhere with Matt. Nik Foxy: or like, my anxiety Nik Foxy: lack of drive for school Mae Bues: all of the above?
Ah, hell if I know. Life's just floating by. I want to do so many things. I want to practice guitar. I want to not be afraid anymore. I want to be able to focus without high doses of caffeine.
I suppose the first two go hand-hand-in-hand. My anxiety is one in the same with my fear and Matt. I mean, I like the kid, don't get me wrong. And this is the first relationship I'm going about the right way. But I am drop-dead terrified of all of it. Not scared-of-commitment fear. I can't even place it. But every time I think of going somewhere with him, what the future may or may not hold, this sickening fear seeps through me. And I hate it! I hate it. Because I like him so much, and I don't want this to get in the way anymore. We've been in constant communication for a month. And I'm so happy now. He gives me incentive to do well. But I'm still so afraid. I don't understand it.
The name is Nik.
"Then, all of a sudden, something very spooky started happening. Every time I came to the end of a block and stepped off the goddam curb, I had this feeling that I’d never get to the other side of the street. I thought I’d just go down, down, down, and nobody’d ever see me again."
-Holden Caulfield, The Catcher in the Rye
Mae Bues: you haven't updated yours Mae Bues: WHY Nik Foxy: cause I've been busy
Nik Foxy: idek what to post about Nik Foxy: like, my fear of going anywhere with Matt. Nik Foxy: or like, my anxiety Nik Foxy: lack of drive for school Mae Bues: all of the above?
Ah, hell if I know. Life's just floating by. I want to do so many things. I want to practice guitar. I want to not be afraid anymore. I want to be able to focus without high doses of caffeine.
I suppose the first two go hand-hand-in-hand. My anxiety is one in the same with my fear and Matt. I mean, I like the kid, don't get me wrong. And this is the first relationship I'm going about the right way. But I am drop-dead terrified of all of it. Not scared-of-commitment fear. I can't even place it. But every time I think of going somewhere with him, what the future may or may not hold, this sickening fear seeps through me. And I hate it! I hate it. Because I like him so much, and I don't want this to get in the way anymore. We've been in constant communication for a month. And I'm so happy now. He gives me incentive to do well. But I'm still so afraid. I don't understand it.
