I've been smiling for two weeks straight, yet I'm beginning to worry. Where's that blinding fear of being trapped? Why haven't I run away yet? It's like nothing else even matters. I see I have a text from him, and brilliant sunshine blinds everything else. And that terrifies me.
He came into work just to say hello to me again. And he had a rose.
Someone I dated once told me that he fell hard for me really fast. He said he wouldn't be surprised if others had, as well. That there was something about me that changed his life upside down in a matter of seconds. It was probably the sweetest thing I'd ever heard. Granted, he cheated on me not two weeks later with my friend Elise, but I'd like to believe he meant what he'd said. It seems to be a recurring theme.
I don't know. I don't understand anything that's going on. It shouldn't be this easy. I told John that Matt made me happy, and he responded with "Good. You deserve to be happy." But I don't get that either. Why? What have I done? Nothing. I've done absolutely nothing except bitch about my family and not study for World Religions.
I want to take a walk and call Matt. Too bad it's 10 degrees outside. And I'm in shorts. And I'm not brave enough to call him.
The name is Nik.
"Then, all of a sudden, something very spooky started happening. Every time I came to the end of a block and stepped off the goddam curb, I had this feeling that I’d never get to the other side of the street. I thought I’d just go down, down, down, and nobody’d ever see me again."
-Holden Caulfield, The Catcher in the Rye
I've been smiling for two weeks straight, yet I'm beginning to worry. Where's that blinding fear of being trapped? Why haven't I run away yet? It's like nothing else even matters. I see I have a text from him, and brilliant sunshine blinds everything else. And that terrifies me.
He came into work just to say hello to me again. And he had a rose.
Someone I dated once told me that he fell hard for me really fast. He said he wouldn't be surprised if others had, as well. That there was something about me that changed his life upside down in a matter of seconds. It was probably the sweetest thing I'd ever heard. Granted, he cheated on me not two weeks later with my friend Elise, but I'd like to believe he meant what he'd said. It seems to be a recurring theme.
I don't know. I don't understand anything that's going on. It shouldn't be this easy. I told John that Matt made me happy, and he responded with "Good. You deserve to be happy." But I don't get that either. Why? What have I done? Nothing. I've done absolutely nothing except bitch about my family and not study for World Religions.
I want to take a walk and call Matt. Too bad it's 10 degrees outside. And I'm in shorts. And I'm not brave enough to call him.
