The last time I felt this much adrenaline I was hanging over three hundred feet in the air with my brother on the Rip Cord. Even then, I don’t think I felt this much fear.I close my eyes, take a steadying breath, and hit the Talk button.
First phone calls to a new guy are terrifying.Especially when you’re hoping with everything you’ve got that things will work.What if it’s awkward?What if I talk too much?What if we can’t hold a conversation?But there’s no way to know if you don’t try.
Fifteen minutes later, my boss is smirking at me through the breakroom window, informing me that my break has been over for ten minutes.I smile back [because he knows exactly who I’m talking to] tell him I need 3 more minutes.
Was I this bad when I was dating James?This junior from Mo Valley has taken me completely by surprise.We’ve run the course: We started out as friends.He asked for my number.We agreed to go to a movie.We love to just sit around and talk.I call him to tell him about my mundane work shift.But for some reason, I’m so unbelievably happy.
I hang up the phone, grinning like an idiot, and flounce back out onto the sales floor.Steve just smirks at me, and I tell him to shut the hell up.Nothing can spoil my mood, not even Steve.
That is, however, until work ended, and we got to the parking lot.Steve, Spencer and I make our way to our cars, talking and bullshitting, when an SUV drives by and honks at us.
“What the fuck!?” I shout, and Spencer throws his arms in the air at them.They drive down the street and shout something obscene out the window.And then they turn around.Talk about an adrenaline rush.They speed into the parking lot, jump out of the car, and start screaming.Spencer and the driver go at it.I don’t think the word “fuck” has ever been used in succession this many times before.Steve jumps in as they start to shove each other, threatening to call the cops.I convince Spencer to get in his car, but the other guy feels the need to test my patience.
“Get in your fucking car!” I shout.He looks at me for a moment, then turns back to insulting Spencer.
“I’m not fucking kidding you.Get in your car, shut the door, and just go home.”The tone in my voice surprises Steve, and he tells the guy he better listen.
When it’s all said and done, I’m vibrating with energy.I want to punch the fuck out of something, so instead, I text Matt and speed all the way home.
Now I’m listening to Bed Rock, cascading rapidly from my Red Bull high.Tomorrow is going to fucking suck, there’s no doubt.
The name is Nik.
"Then, all of a sudden, something very spooky started happening. Every time I came to the end of a block and stepped off the goddam curb, I had this feeling that I’d never get to the other side of the street. I thought I’d just go down, down, down, and nobody’d ever see me again."
-Holden Caulfield, The Catcher in the Rye
The last time I felt this much adrenaline I was hanging over three hundred feet in the air with my brother on the Rip Cord. Even then, I don’t think I felt this much fear.I close my eyes, take a steadying breath, and hit the Talk button.
First phone calls to a new guy are terrifying.Especially when you’re hoping with everything you’ve got that things will work.What if it’s awkward?What if I talk too much?What if we can’t hold a conversation?But there’s no way to know if you don’t try.
Fifteen minutes later, my boss is smirking at me through the breakroom window, informing me that my break has been over for ten minutes.I smile back [because he knows exactly who I’m talking to] tell him I need 3 more minutes.
Was I this bad when I was dating James?This junior from Mo Valley has taken me completely by surprise.We’ve run the course: We started out as friends.He asked for my number.We agreed to go to a movie.We love to just sit around and talk.I call him to tell him about my mundane work shift.But for some reason, I’m so unbelievably happy.
I hang up the phone, grinning like an idiot, and flounce back out onto the sales floor.Steve just smirks at me, and I tell him to shut the hell up.Nothing can spoil my mood, not even Steve.
That is, however, until work ended, and we got to the parking lot.Steve, Spencer and I make our way to our cars, talking and bullshitting, when an SUV drives by and honks at us.
“What the fuck!?” I shout, and Spencer throws his arms in the air at them.They drive down the street and shout something obscene out the window.And then they turn around.Talk about an adrenaline rush.They speed into the parking lot, jump out of the car, and start screaming.Spencer and the driver go at it.I don’t think the word “fuck” has ever been used in succession this many times before.Steve jumps in as they start to shove each other, threatening to call the cops.I convince Spencer to get in his car, but the other guy feels the need to test my patience.
“Get in your fucking car!” I shout.He looks at me for a moment, then turns back to insulting Spencer.
“I’m not fucking kidding you.Get in your car, shut the door, and just go home.”The tone in my voice surprises Steve, and he tells the guy he better listen.
When it’s all said and done, I’m vibrating with energy.I want to punch the fuck out of something, so instead, I text Matt and speed all the way home.
Now I’m listening to Bed Rock, cascading rapidly from my Red Bull high.Tomorrow is going to fucking suck, there’s no doubt.
